Carry On
by Citizen-Kaine
Summary: Though the fire and flames you have to Carry on. Nick was never one for Ellis anyways, but soon mixed emotions cause mixed reactions. As the gang tries to escape and find other survivors, things start happening between Nick and Ellis, that Ellis isn't sure should be happening. This will be an NickxEllis story. Rated M for future smut, language, gore. There will be deaths.
1. Welcome to the town

A.N. So this is my first Left 4 Dead fic. So if you could take it easy on me I'd be appreciative.

I do not own any of the Left 4 Dead characters, nor their universe. I only one the few made up characters I add now and then. This will eventually become a male on male story, if you don't like that kind of stuff, stop reading while you're ahead. (Mind you, it doesn't even turn that way for a while. Who likes plot in their smut? This chick) All reviews and likes are welcome, as well as anyone who would like to beta read before I submit each chapter.

With out further a due.

Chapter 1. Mixed emotions.

The city slept in darkness. The electricity had cut out months ago, leaving what seemed like a dark plague in it's wake. That was besides the plague of dead already in it's wake. The undead hoards wandered aimlessly through the streets, most rotting away to nothing, a mixture of time and the damp swamp air causing their skin to quickly begin the process of decay.

This left most of the undead hoards in falling apart messes, but not all of them. Still wandered the streets were the special infected, the swamp men still in perfect condition as their bodies continued to adapt to the weather and surroundings. Still the witches cried into their palms as they wandered aimlessly about, trying to find a new victim to take out their rage. The undead still ruled this city, though not as strong in numbers as they once were: still the roamed, hungry and angry. The only things truly alive left in this city were four people, once strangers, now friends. Desperation was slowly kicking in, in all of their minds. The need to survive over powering their need for anything else.

The desperation the four felt seemed to fill the air, they would breath it in with every intake and exhale exhaustion and frustration. The screams of the dead were but a mere background noise anymore, no more did they scare the four survivors. The dreadful feeling that they were becoming numb to the grotesque life they now lived was sinking in quickly. Were they doomed to become numb to all emotion besides fear for their lives? As of now, that couldn't matter. The sun was setting, they needed to find a safe house for the night, they needed food and fresh water. Exhaustion was kicking in quickly, and they had yet to find anything they could use for a place to hide from the night. As the sun fell so did their hopes, as the sun fell their fears began to grow. At night, the undead who'd been hidden away from the heat of the day came out, it also meant they'd have to start using their flashlights, which normally brought upon more undead who were attracted to the light.

Their ammo was already running low, their energy was none. They couldn't survive another night like this, it wasn't going to be possible.

One of the four held up his hand as he looked into a shop. "Hey guys." He said softly as he looked inside. "I think I see some water." There was a snicker, "That's great coach, I thought you found candy again." stated one of the others, causing the larger black male to frown before shaking his head.

"Come on Nick, no need to be an ass in a time like this." Coach stated back, causing the other male to shrug and walk into the store. "There's always time for a joke or two." He stated as he fixed his white suit, making sure the dirty clothing didn't snag on any broken glass from the door.

There was a chuckle as the third male followed after Coach and Nick, tapping the handle of his ax on his shoulder he cleared his throat, "This reminds me of a time were Keith and I were playing in a shoe store-"

"Ellis dear, I don't think we have time for a story" he was cut off shortly by the only female of the group. She followed after, bumping the hat on Ellis's head. "Yeah I suppose so Rochelle." He said as he grinned from the bump on his hat. He followed after her, watching the others climbed over the toppled shelving equipment, getting to the glass refrigerators that still stood. "Holy cow, that's a lot of water."

Nick chuckled at Ellis's comment as he opened the door. "The best part, it's ours now." With that the group opened their bags and filled them with enough water they could carry. "Here's to hoping it's not poisoned huh?" Nick opened one bottle and started to chug the liquid allowing not a single drop to escape his thirsty grasp. Ellis chuckled slightly as he watched the high and mighty con man act as desperate as the rest of them. The chuckle caused Nick to stop, he looked at the scrawny male and narrowed his eyes, he then chucked the bottle at the other. "What do you think is so funny?"

"Just a con man finally acting like a real man." Ellis smiled as he grabbed the now empty bottle and tossed it out of the way. The comment caused Nick to give a soft grunt of disgust before looking away. "Let's find the safe room already."

"Don't be such a sore sport." Coach stated as he grabbed his own bag heading once more for the door. "Ellis is just being his normal self." With that Coach and Rochelle made their way for the door leaving Nick and Ellis behind. Nick looked at the scrawny man before grabbing him by the shirt, pulling the other closer. "Listen kid." He said softly before pushing him against the wall. "I don't take shit from anyone, especially some scrawny spit fuck like yourself." Ellis's eyes grew wide as he watched Nick. "Comeon Nick, it was just a joke. I wasn't meaning to offend you and such."

"Well you did." Nick pushed against Ellis once more before letting go of his shirt. "I really don't care how much you like me, I'm not your friend." With that statement said, Nick took his leave to follow the other two who had left, leaving Ellis to follow slowly behind. "I didn't mean to... upset you man..." He muttered rubbing the back of his head, not hearing the horrible coughing noises coming from back in the store.

Suddenly there was a retching noise, and then a slimy pink tongue wrapped around his hips. "Ah shit!" Ellis let out a yelp, as he was suddenly pulled off his feet, hitting the concrete hard, and on his face, dropping his ax when he fell. "HELP!" He yelled as he tried to grab at the door frame as the smoker attempted to reel in it's target. Ellis clawed at the door frame, holding on as tight as he could as one hand tried to grab the ax, or anything that he could use to try and free himself from the horrible lock the undead horror show had on him. "Someone!" He yelled again, as his grip started to fail on him.

The ax that had been dropped, was swiftly kicked up into the hands of Nick, who spun the bladed thing before slamming it down onto the length of tongue below Ellis's feet, causing the undead monster to let out a screech in pain before backing up a bit. Coach took the opportunity to fire a bullet into the horror's face, landing it dead in his eye; dropping it to the floor with a horrible squishing noise.

"RUN!" Rochelle yelled, hearing the screams of the hoards of undead who had heard the scuffle that had just taken place, and now wanted in on the action. The four survivors took off, running for their lives as they tried to find a place to hide, a safe room they could bolt up for the night, or at least until the undead didn't know they were there anymore.

"THERE!" Coach yelled, pointing at a candle lit home, windows were boarded up but the light still started to show as the sun started to finish setting. The four started to run harder, when they heard shots fired. There were people inside the home, trying to help their fellow survivors. "Hurry!" Came from the home as the front door slammed open, two men stepping out to shoot at the undead hoards chasing the four.

Nick ran inside before the group, quickly moving to grab an extra gun to help defend the home from the on coming onslaught of undead. Ellis joined Nick shortly, using his own hunting rifle to fire out the window, killing each that he hit. Coach grabbed his ax, using it beside Rochelle and the two others who'd helped them, killing any undead that got too close to the home.

After what seemed like hours, the undead finally stopped coming. An eerie silence fell over the home as the gun shots faded, and the sounds of panting from the overly exhausted team took over. "You folks alright?" asked the man who appeared to be the head of the home. He looked at the four new comers, taking off his trucker hat as he watched them. "None of you bitten right?" The four rolled up sleeves, pants, and turned around for the family, showing that they had not been injured.

One of the young kids of the family went up and held out her hand. "Hiya guys. I sure am glad you're alright!" Coach took her hand and shook it. "We're sure glad you folks were willing to help us out! You really saved our asses back there." The family said a welcome as the mother and father closed and locked the door up. "Now, you folks can stay here for the night." The father said as he put his hands on his hips. "But don't you think we gonna let you stay longer then that. We've got food, and a couple rooms for you to stay in, but you leave come morning." Couch gave a nod, "We can respect that sir."

"Yeah, never know what could happen in this fucked up world." Nick muttered as he reloaded his gun. The man nodded before pointing at himself. "Name's pa, that's Ma." He pointed to the plump women who was currently trying to get the blood from the undead off her shirt with a rag. "Sam, and Phil." He pointed to the young girl then the young boy. Phil looked at the others before crossing his arms. "Who are you guys."

"My name is Coach, this here is Rochelle, Nick, and Ellis." Coach pointed to each of his friends in turn, each nodded as their name was said. "Well. Now that we're done with the introducin our selves. How about I cook us something to eat." Ma fluffed her shirt after she got most of the blood off, before heading to the kitchen. Coach and Rochelle followed happily, laughing a bit as the joked with the family, leaving Nick and Ellis alone in the living room.

Nick set the gun against the wall after he'd finished reloading it. Ellis looked at the other before clearing his throat. "So urm, thanks for saving me and all." He stuffed his hands in his pockets as he watched Nick, who finished putting the gun properly away, then turned to look at the other. "Shut it." Nick watched Ellis's face fall, almost as if his soul had been crushed. Nick slowly removed his jacket and hung it up on the wall hanger before looking at the scrawny man again. "I did it because you're essential to me staying alive. That's it. That and your damn screaming was making the fucking undead come. How stupid do you have to be, to scream like a little girl because a smoker got you? Did you want us all dead?"

Ellis didn't know what to say, in the situation he'd been in screaming seemed like the only answer to getting saved, hell it was the only thing that saved him. What else could he have done? "I'm real sorry Nick, is there any way I can make it up to you? I mean give you a proper thank you and all?"

Nick stepped closer looking at the other male before him. He stepped close enough that they were toe to toe, causing Ellis to breath in the musk that was the others natural body odor. The few days it'd been since they'd found that river to wash up in, Nick had already gained back his natural smell in ten fold, it was a dizzying and tempting smell. One that made Ellis feel weird towards the other, in ways he'd never felt towards a man. The feeling was starting to scare him, he wasn't sure what to do.

"I'll think of _something_." Nick muttered looking at the other before stepping around him, heading towards the kitchen with the others. Ellis breathed a sigh of relief as he held his chest, clutching his shirt tightly in his hand. "What... what was that." He muttered before looking after Nick, what the hell was his body doing. Was the lack of female attention finally getting to him? He'd never been one to sleep with a lot of women, but he'd been with the occasional girl every now and then. Rochelle had been the only alive female with them for nearly a year now, and it was clear she wasn't going for him any time soon.

Was his body starting to like the abuse Nick gave him? What the hell was his body trying to do to _him_?

End Chapter 1.

Please Review, Fav, subscribe.

Next Chapter will be up soon.


	2. Drunk Nights

A.N. I don't know why I keep working on these so fast. I really don't. Oh left 4 dead... why are you such a fun game to play? I think the fact that my friends and I keep playing the game repeatedly night after night is helping this story along.

Disclaimer: I do not own the left 4 dead cast and crew, I only own the story I've created for them to be in.

Chapter 2.

The dinner the family gave the survivors had to be more food then the four of them had seen in several months, let alone days. Ma had managed a way to rig an oven to heat things the family had kept frozen in their cellar. Canned meat was served, as well as warm vegetables. The group didn't know where to start, or who to thank the most. The chatter around the table was mostly about who was who, the pasts that always got spoken when ever one met a new survivor. It was a way to keep the old days a live, and a way to remember a past that would and could never happen again.

Ellis told his stories about Keith, causing almost everyone to laugh, everyone but Nick. The man had grown tired of hearing the same damn tiring stories; especially over the stupidity that was Ellis's bumpkin friend. Once he was done he stood from the table. "Oh are you ready for bed then dear?" Ma asked looking at Nick. Nick gave a small nod, pushing the chair back to the table. "Well you boys will have to share two rooms. Us girls auta stick together." she gave a soft chuckle to herself as she stood up. "Let me show you to your room there Nick." She lead the tall man out of the room, leaving the others behind to talk to each other.

Ellis picked at the food on his plate, watching Nick and Ma leave. Rochelle reached over to the man, setting her hand on his shoulder. "You okay Ellis?" She asked watching the normally laughing and upbeat man, look sour and depressed. "Did something happen between you and Nick?"

Ellis looked up before smiling at Rochelle. "Aw shucks Rochelle, it's nothing." He grinned before pushing his hat up with his finger. "It's just a silly misunderstanding." This caused Rochelle to look at him like he was a nut, before slowly nodding. "You say so."

Coach leaned back in his chair patting his stomach as he did so. "That was a very good meal." Pa gave a heart filled chuckle as he watched the overweight man like himself. "That's always a good thing to hear. I'm sure ma will enjoy knowing you liked it."

"Oh yes sir, that was a fine meal." Coach grinned like a loon as he continued to rub his stomach happily. Pa laughed again as Rochelle gave her own chuckle to the reactions of the two males. Sam and Phil snickered watching the adults as Ma came back into the room. She messed with Sam's hair before heading back into the kitchen. "Kids off to bed." She called, the children stood, pushing their chairs back to the table. "Goodnight guys." Coach said waving at the younger children. Sam gave a small curtsey in her blood stained dress. "Goodnight Coach." She said before waving at the others as well, Phil took her hand before the two left to bed.

Ma came back out of the kitchen carrying alcohol, she set the different bottles of vodka and scotch on the table. "Now it's time for the adults." She laughed as she set out fresh glasses for the group. "You folks look like you could use a drink." Sitting down, Ma pored herself a drink of scotch. Coach gave a low whistle as he sat up to look at some of the drinks that had been brought before them. "Why yes indeed."

Ellis watched the others as they pored drinks and began to enjoy themselves. "Hey guys, I'm gonna go see if Nick would like to join us."

"He'd only be a party pooper." Rochelle stated as she sipped at her own drink.

"Don't mean we can't ask him." Ellis said as he stood up, "Where's he at?"

Ma giggled before waving her hand. "Down stairs, last door at the end of the hallway." Ellis nodded his thanks as he headed back to the living room, the sounds of laughter and enjoyment following behind him. It had been the first time in nearly a year the survivors had enjoyed their selves, Ellis wanted Nick to join in on the party, it wasn't right for them to leave him out. The stairway was dark once he reached it, it looked like the home it's self had gone through hell and back, yet still the family continued to stay in the home that the family had owned for years. To think that they'd defended this home for over a year was unbelievable, but understandable. The stories they'd told about the home, and growing up in this city, made Ellis miss his own home town.

He finally reached the bottom step stumbling slightly due to the lack of light. He reached for the wall only to feel a candle holder resting on the end of the railing. Fumbling in his pockets for his box of matches he lit one, then the candle. He let out a soft sigh of relief as he used the candle to slowly navigate down the hallway towards the room he was told Nick was sleeping in. "Nick?" He asked knocking on the door, "You up man?" He opened the door slowly, looking in as he held the candle in before he moved in.

The room was dark except for the soft glow the candle illuminated. It was a small room, just a queen sized bed in the middle of it, a dresser against the wall, and two bed stands. On the bed, under the blankets was the outline of a body. Ellis moved into the room a bit more, "Nick?" there was a groaning noise as the other man moved on the bed. "What." The question came out more of a statement from the half asleep man, his demanding voice causing Ellis to get a soft shiver. "Just thought I'd invite you to drinking."

Nick rubbed his head as he slowly sat up on the bed, the sheet falling from his shoulder to his hips. "What?" Nick looked at Ellis a bit as he rubbed his head. Ellis moved closer, allowing the candle to light up the others body, what he saw quickly turned his face a slight shade of red. The other male was completely nude, just a white sheet spared Ellis of seeing Nick in his full glory. Ellis could feel his face flush a light shade of red in the candle light as he stared. "We're having a small party upstairs. Ma and Pa brought out some alcohol and we were wondering if you wanted to join us."

Nick watched Ellis's face, knowing full well where the others gaze was falling. "Something bothering you Ellis?" Nick asked softly before standing, holding the white sheet over his crotch to continue shielding his manhood from being fully seen. "Uh, nothing at all man."

"Your face is saying different. You wanna say something to me kid, or you just gonna keep staring at me?" Ellis swallowed slowly before looking to Nick's face, which caused him to gulp. Instead of Nick's normal stern look, the one that always showed Ellis how pissed he'd made the man for the day, there was a face of toying. A sly smirk graced Nick's lips, his eyes focused on Ellis's face and the blush that covered it. "N-nothing man. I swear!"

Nick gave a soft huff before moving the sheet to allow Ellis's eyes to go even wider. "Nick, you don't... have nothing on." He muttered, his eyes unable to leave the sight before him. "Yeah Ellis.. I noticed. "

Ellis looked at Nick's face again before stepping back, that stupid and ridiculous feeling was back, he didn't understand why it was back, or what was causing it. He'd seen Keith naked plenty of times before, and never once did he stare like he was at Nick now. Hell, he'd never even thought of his best friend doing the things he was wanting Nick to do with him right now. None of this was making sense in his head, and he quite frankly wanted it to stop. The candle light bounced off the man before him, the year of running from the undead had toned the gambler's body. Ellis gave him another once over admiring the body before him, admiring? He shook his head before holding it, setting the candle holder down on the end of the bed.

Nick grabbed a dark bottle off the bedside table and took a long swig from it, enjoying the taste of the liquor before looking once more at Ellis. "Oh, you already have your own." Ellis stated before giving a nervous chuckle. "Guess you don't wanna join us then." He grabbed the candle once more, "I'll head back up stairs then, leave you to your sleep and stuff."

He heard the other move, and then there was the hand on his arm. Ellis had to stop himself from doing his normal when something grabbed him, a year of attacks could change a man quickly. He regretted it not even a second after. He was quickly pushed against the wall, hitting it hard with a loud thud and umph. Nick had his hands against the wall and pinned along with the rest of him. "Your damn right I don't wanna be with the rest of you. I'm sick of all of you." Ellis squirmed a bit against the nude body holding him. This wasn't good, Nick had been drinking more then he thought, why didn't he listen to Rochelle and just stay upstairs?

"Nick, come on man... Let go!" Ellis squirmed again, which caused Nick to pushed him harder against the wall. Ellis bit his lower lip and held back him moan. Nick gave a chuckle before pushing harder. "Who would have known you were a faggot Ellis?" Nick leaned in close to Ellis's ear, breathing on it as he whispered his words. Ellis grunted, "I'm not a faggot you jack ass!" he hissed as he tried to get away from the drunk man.

Nick laughed before moving his hands to hold both of Ellis's hands above his head. His now free hand moved down and grabbed Ellis, gripping his slowly growing hard on, and causing Ellis to let out a yelp. "What you call this then?" He asked as Ellis hissed slowly. "Let off man!" Nick let go of the other, allowing Ellis to lower his hands, as he stepped back to the bed. "What ever kid." He said before sitting down on the bed once more. Nick leaned back as he kept his eyes on Ellis, pulling the blankets over himself once more. "Go enjoy your party."

It took Ellis a moment before slowly moving away from the wall. "Your fucked up man!" He finally yelled, looking at Nick. "What the hell did you do that for?!" Nick started laughing as he leaned back on the bed. "You should see your face Ellis. Fucking priceless really." Nick scratched his chest slowly before pulling the blanket back over his hips. "Bet you have a raging hard on for that crap don't you?"

Ellis gave a soft snarl. "That's fucked up man!" He waved his hand a bit before going to the bed. "How would you like it if I just grabbed your junk while I was naked and drunk!" The statement caused Nick to laugh, grabbing the bottle once more. "I dunno kid, I might enjoy it myself." With that he took a long swig before putting an arm back, his hand behind his head. "Never know, I might like it."

That hit like Ellis like a ton of bricks to the head. He stood there stunned, looking at the nude man before him who was obviously drunk, but held an honest look on his face. Mind you it was also the look of a sly cunning man, who seemed to be plotting his next move as Ellis stood there stupidly, but still a man who was not telling a lie.

There was a yell from upstairs. Rochelle was heading downstairs to check on the two, the muffled words of taking too long were heard. Ellis backed up from Nick slowly before heading towards the door. "Get back over here." The words were soft, but just loud enough Ellis could hear them clearly. His footsteps stopped dead, his body froze. He didn't know what to do anymore as his heart started to race. The man who directed him so often, or yelled at him over simply telling a story was now controlling his thoughts, his movements, or at least it felt as if he was. Ellis could swear Nick could hear his heart from where he was laying down.

The creek of the bed springs filled his head, causing his racing thoughts to swiftly become dirty. The thought of Nick touching him again, or pushing him against the door filled his riddled thoughts and made his hands sweat. He swallowed hard as he heard the footsteps behind him stop, Nick was pulling on his pants. "I'll get it." Ellis nodded slowly as Nick moved to the door, pushing Ellis back behind him. "Rochelle!" Nick said with a smirk on his lips.

"Hey." She said as she came closer to the door. She crossed her arms over her chest, looking at Nick. "Where's Ellis at? He came down here to get you and never came back up." Nick pointed behind him. "We were just talking, I was going to go up and grab a drink with him, then he started to not feel so well. So he's gonna lay down while I head up and get something for his stomach."

Rochelle looked over Nick's shoulder at Ellis, trying to look at him the best she could in the dim light of the candle in the room. "He does look sick. What'd you do to him Nick?" Her gaze shifted back to Nick, her foot tapping. "What'd you do?"

"Me? I take offense to that accusation Rochelle. I didn't do anything to the kid, he just started to feel sick, I offered him to stay in here so I could take care of him, you know, in case he started getting worse." Nick pulled on his shirt from beside the door, buttoning it up slowly before looking at Ellis. "You should lay down already..."

Ellis blinked a couple times, nodding slowly before going to the bed and sitting down. Rochelle watched Ellis carefully before going into the room, stepping over to Ellis's side. "You okay?" She asked rubbing his shoulder slowly. Ellis looked at her before grinning slowly. "I think I'll be okay." His gaze shifted over to Nick who had his eye on the two before he headed out of the room. Rochelle gave a small smile. "Well you let me know if you need anything alright dear? Don't let Nick just push you around when you don't feel well. He does it enough when he's sober, you hear?" Ellis nodded slowly before looking down, trying to figure out what the hell was going on right now.

Rochelle patted his shoulder before heading back to the hallway, and then upstairs.

Ellis was royal confused at this point. His head was swimming in the tempting thoughts that felt wrong, and confused him in a whole. He didn't know what Nick was playing at, and wasn't quite sure he wanted to continue sitting in this dimly lit room until Nick came back. What if the other hurt him because of what his body was doing? How was it fair for Nick to play at his feelings like this? Wait, his feelings? He stopped, then swiftly stood up. 'I do not have any feelings towards Nick' He thoughts as he went for the door. This was ridiculous, what was he doing, what was he thinking? He grabbed the door knob and stopped again. What was he doing?

The question sunk in slowly. Within twenty-four hours he'd gone from being hated by Nick to not only liked, but wanted by Nick. Was this something he should try to fight? Was this really something he wanted to happen? His fingers gripped the cold metal of the door knob, it was something sturdy to hold onto as his mind raced. What was going to happen in the end? Fingers gripped cold metal, holding the knob hard in a death grip. Everything was so weird, everything was so fucked up. He didn't know how this had even started, he especially didn't know how this was going to end.

Finally he turned the knob, opening the door. The hallway was cold and black, what he wished his thoughts were right now, instead of fast and heated. What would Nick do if he left and just went to a room by himself? Locked his door for the night and decided to be alone. What would happen if he stayed? Would Nick force himself on Ellis again, leaving the morning with a hangover and not knowing what happened anyways? The better question was, what did Ellis want?

In the darkness of the hallway Ellis was once again lost in his thoughts, the question on if he should stay or go weighing heavily on his mind. It was again his distraction that caused Nick to sneak up on him. It wasn't until the other male was in front of him that Ellis even knew he was there. "I didn't think you'd honestly stay." Nick finally spoke, stepping in front of Ellis so they were toe to toe. Nick looked Ellis in the eye as he pulled his own crumpled shirt a bit, trying to fix the buttons. The musk the man had once more hit Ellis's nose, filling him with that weird feeling all over again.

"I didn't know if I should leave or not." Ellis replied, looking Nick in the eye, "You're drunk Nick. This is all very stupid and shouldn't be happening."

"And why's that Ellis?" Nick replied, finally getting his shirt unbuttoned once more. "Why shouldn't something like this happen? Obviously you want it, or you wouldn't have waited until I got back before deciding you wanted to go. You could have left at any time instead of listening to me. Instead you waited, admit it, you want what ever is going to happen, to happen."

Ellis couldn't deny it at this point. He'd let too many thoughts race through his mind and instead of just going as he said he would, he stayed. He obeyed Nick with little to no hesitation, and was just going to let what happens happen. "Why are you doing this Nick?" He had to know.

"Ellis... It's because I can." Nick smirked before pushing the other back into the room, shutting the door behind them with his foot. "It's because I know you'll put up a fight, but you wont stop me. What's with you anyways, does all my yelling at your stupid stories, and your stupidity turn you on?"

Ellis was starting to get mad at this now. It was one thing to poke fun at the fact that Nick made him hard, but another to insult him downright? He didn't have to stand for it, and Nick was going to make him put up with it. "I don't have to take this crap." He muttered before stepping around Nick, only to be grabbed and pulled back. "Yes you do." With that Ellis felt warm lips meet his own. It stopped him dead in his tracks, that was for sure.

The other mans musk hit him again, like a wave he wanted to stay on. He could feel his body reacting again in the way he was no longer sure he was ashamed of. The feeling of the others lips pressed against his own caused a shock down his spine, creating goose bumps on his skin. Nick slowly loosened his grip on Ellis's arm, allowing the other to remove it from his grasp if wanted. Instead Ellis moved closer, wanting more. The smell, the feel, the taste, he wanted more of all of it. Nick however stopped it, breaking the kiss to look at the smaller male.

The two stood there side by side, Nick holding Ellis's arm still, neither wanting to move.

_Neither knowing what to say or do next._

_End Chapter 2_

__A.N. I'd like to apologize for how long it took to upload this. My computer crapped out on me half way through the chapter, so I had to get it fixed.

Anyways, hope everyone enjoys. Chapter 3 will be up soon.


	3. This isn't Happening

**Chapter 3**

_ This isn't happening_

A.N. You guys ever get bored, or feel like telling to work faster.. or just feel like seeing some of my artwork, late night gaming, or just poking me. Find me on facebook at : CitizenKainesLiveDrawingAndG aming?ref=ts

I'd love to hear from you 3

_Disclaimer: I do not own any of the left 4 dead cast or crew, just the story I have created, as well as the characters I have created to go with them. (Gotta love Ma)_

_This chapter is dark, and contains rape. If you are not comfortable with this do not continue reading and please skip to the next chapter once it is up. Thank you_

The party raged upstairs with the survivors and the family. The two groups got a long great as they talked amongst themselves, telling stories about near death experiences, as well as close encounters. Ma and Pa talked about how they'd owned the home before the zombies had come. How they'd actually owned the home for four generations. When the undead had come they'd never left the home, since Pa had long ago created the home into a shelter in case something like this, or hurricanes had ever made it to their city. The metal door kept the undead from getting in anytime, as well as anyone Ma and Pa didn't want getting in. The windows had been bared to keep out anything else they didn't want.

To say Pa was a nut to keep his family safe, was a low blow. Pa wanted to make sure that they could live with out help for years, and he succeeded at it to say the least. Hell the survivors were the first people they'd let in since the start of the attacks. Especially after the last people they'd let in, tried to kill the family to steal their home. Pa took care of them before they could even start. The family had been through tough times like the survivors, if not worse times then the four others had experienced but still they held together.

Rochelle gave a small toast to staying together, to keeping it together in hard times, and to helping strangers with just the faith of your heart. The four adults gave a cheer and clink of glasses, ignoring the howling noises coming from miles away outside. It was like they were just friends gathering together for drinks, not that they'd been forced together because of the undead. Maybe they could have been like this with out the undead forcing together, then again if it wasn't for the undead they may have never made friends.

Maybe it was the same thing that brought Ellis and Nick together alone in the dark room, inches from each other, thinking thoughts that neither expected to ever think of the other. Ellis gave a hard swallow as he looked at the other man, eying him in the dim light; observing ever muscle on the other mans upper body. "I'm not drunk enough for _this_." The words had to be said, Ellis needed a drink if this was going to continue. If he was going to go against everything he'd been taught, he had to have something to blame in the end.

Nick chuckled, "Took the words right out of my mouth." Holding up the bottle of rum he'd taken from the party upstairs Nick handed it to Ellis. "Go on then." He let go of Ellis before heading back over to the bedside table. Ellis watched the other as he drank straight from the bottle, Nick followed after. What were they doing? What was he doing? Ellis was so confused to why he was still standing in the room alone with the other, who once more was starting to control his thoughts. Ellis wondered if Nick even knew what he was doing, or if the other was too far drunk to even know what was happening rationally in his mind.

It worried Ellis if they'd be okay with each other in the morning. "So I was told by the group that'd it'd just be you and I together alone tonight." Nick said finally after taking a long swig from the alcohol he'd been nursing all night. That stopped Ellis mid gulp. "Coach and Rochelle will be staying with each other, since they had the guts to admit to Ma and Pa what they won't admit to us." Nick laughed before taking another swig. "Stupid bitch." He finally muttered before pulling off his unbuttoned shirt, letting it hit the floor. Those words hit Ellis, he finally understood why Nick was doing this, Rochelle finally turned the man down, leaving Nick with Ellis; the guy he'd picked on for over a year and was constantly horrible to. Ellis looked at the drink in his hand, swirling it around in the bottle slowly. "I can't..." All the horrible things Nick constantly said to him, did to him, they were coming back with each sip. It made it harder to even consider continuing with what was happening.

Nick watched Ellis before moving closer again, "What do you mean?" Ellis started to get scared again. This whole night, this whole thing was freaking him out, how much more did he have to take before he couldn't take any more? His body was betraying him already, was his mind going to betray him next? Nick moved closer to Ellis, who backed up a bit. "Nick I'm not... I can't do this." Nick moved closer, causing Ellis to finally back up against the wall. Nick put his hand against the wall close to his head hard. "Bull shit." Nick growled watching Ellis who slumped against the wall a bit.

He'd always hated seeing Nick mad, and now the mixture of mad and drunk Ellis knew he was screwed. "No. I'm not doing this Nick." Ellis said softly, trying to slink down a bit more, "I can't." Nick leaned in closer his free hand grabbing Ellis's chin and forcing his head up. "That shits not happening." Nick growled leaning in closer. Ellis gulped watching Nick's face as it came closer. "Nick stop..." Ellis muttered feeling the others breath on his lips. "Make me." Nick pushed his lips against Ellis's, causing Ellis to let out a soft groan. The feeling from before sweeping over him once more as he enjoyed the mixture of smell and taste. His mind began to become clouded once more with thoughts that caused his body to react in ways he wasn't sure he wanted it to.

Nick pushed his body against the others, his hand moving from Ellis's chin to slowly down his neck and shoulder, then down his chest slowly. Ellis pushed up to the touch, his body reacting against what his mind wanted. Nick's hand continued down Ellis's boy, going under her shirt finally, to touch roughly at his skin. Ellis broke the kiss, turning his head to the side, biting his lower lip as Nick reached his nipple, pinching it roughly between two fingers. "Admit it Ellis. You do want this. As much as you fight, and you protest, your body doesn't." Ellis bit back his groan as Nick rolled his fingers along Ellis's nipple slowly. "You really are fucked up."

Ellis groaned gripping the bottle in his hand tightly, he could escape if he wanted to, just hit the other over the head and make a run for it. However, the want to actually go through with that was growing smaller and smaller, and the want, no the need, to stay; to continue grew larger. The need in fact started to create his pants to grow tighter. What Nick was doing to his body and mind was scaring him, Ellis bit his lip harder as he closed his eyes tightly. "Nick knock it off..." He groaned, trying to make his own mind work at this point. Trying to force himself to think of something other then what Nick was doing to his body.

"I think we should. It's about damn time I made you understand I am the boss." Nick replied as his other hand left the wall, and moved down Ellis's body, stopping right above Ellis's belt, toying with the front before undoing it. "N-Nick." Ellis groaned, feeling the other push against his hardening member as he worked on his belt. The voice caused Nick to work faster, undoing the belt and pulling it off swiftly; with out it the work suit Ellis wore, now slacked on his hips.

"Ellis you're a liar." Nick whispered moving his hand to push Ellis's work pants down on his hips slowly. "You do want this." Ellis shivered looking at Nick, he didn't want this his body did. His mind was still set on not knowing what to do other then tell Nick to stop, or to try and squirm away. It didn't look like that would happen any time soon. Nick watched Ellis's face before looking him dead in the eye. That feeling from before washed over him in waves, his body wanted something he wasn't sure his mind wanted. The problem was his body was winning. Ellis's heart raced as he watched Nick who leaned in and kissed him hard.

He could feel Nick's slick tongue slide over his lips, and then in his mouth. The muscle fought his own which tried to push the invader out. After a few moments however, Ellis submitted, he was unable to fight the overwhelming senses as Nick grabbed his hardened member through his boxers. Ellis was unable to fight back the moan that released from him at the touch, which only caused Nick to grab him a bit harder, pushing his tongue more against Ellis's, demanding obedience; receiving it in full. With the touches and the forceful behavior that Nick was giving, was forcing Ellis to his knees.

Ellis finally moved, pushing at Nick a bit, attempting to get him off of him, instead he was forced against the wall. Clothing finally fully stripped from his body, boxers pushed down with first a hand and then a foot. Nick's own pants finally hitting the floor, followed swiftly by his own boxers. Ellis looked down at the other man before him, looking at the large hardened member before him. How Nick thought that would be entering Ellis at any time was beyond the younger male. Ellis how ever didn't get much time to think about it, he was turned around on the wall, face first against the cool wood. "Fuck wait man!" Ellis yelled pushing against the wall and against Nick's body. He'd heard of how this was done, it wasn't something he'd even thought about doing, but it was something he'd been told about.

Nick however, wasn't listening, he wasn't in the mood to care. Rough hands gripped Ellis's ass, slapping it before kneeing Ellis's legs apart a bit more. "Bite your arm." Ellis's eyes grew wide as he realized what was about to happen to him. Nick was too drunk to care if he was going to hurt the other an far worse then he already had, and was about to take it to the step one shouldn't go with anyone. "No!" Ellis yelled trying his best to look back at the other, instead the back of his head was grabbed, forcing his face against the wall. Nick spit in his hand before slicking his own length, then in one swift and hard move he pushed himself into the others ass. Not all at once, half way at first, before pushing in fully. The move causing Ellis to bite back a scream that pulled tears from his eyes.

The more Ellis pushed against the other, the struggle he was attempting to put up in his pain, Nick continued, and pushed harder. Ellis bit back his screams in pain, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood. Nick liked the rough, he liked the struggle the other was putting up against him, Nick enjoyed the feel of a body against him. Ellis on the other hand, was regretting this more and more, even if his body was betraying his mind still. How was the pain he was feeling turning him on? What was his body doing to him?

Nick moved in hard thrusts, each one causing Ellis to let out a muffled scream still hidden behind the bite. His fingers gripped Ellis's hips tight, he knew at the end of the night there would be bruises to prove of what he'd done, left there on Ellis's hips where he'd be the only one to see them, every time he dressed himself. He moved a hand to reach to Ellis's length, gripping it tight instead of his hip, stroking it harshly with each rough thrust he did. Ellis closed his eyes tightly, fighting back his screams in frustration and pain, he couldn't take this much more, though his body was seeming to enjoy the attention, it also hated the pain.

Nick didn't seem to care.

His mouth moved to Ellis's neck, biting down hard making sure to leave a bruise, another mark to remind Ellis of what they were doing. Ellis tried but couldn't hold back the yell from the bite. Only his yells were becoming more of moans instead of screams of pain. The pain was starting to dull from the thrusts, the only real pain he was truly feeling was from the bites, and the death grip on his hip. Nick started to notice Ellis's slow change in pace to his movements, it caused him to move faster. His hand stroking Ellis faster with his thrusts, his own grunts and pants starting to come through with each movement.

Ellis couldn't take much more, the pain, the pleasure... it was mixing into an odd feeling that he wasn't sure he enjoyed anymore. Then, a rush of pleasure filled his body, causing him to arch against Nick's chest and groan in pleasure. He wasn't sure what had happened, but Nick hit the spot again, causing him to moan louder, his body shaking as he came; semen splashing against the wall he was pressed against. The muscles tightening around Nick's length from the climax the other reached caused his own climax to rush over him. He bit down harder on Ellis's neck as he did so, muffling his own moans of pleasure.

The two stood there panting, Ellis shaking against the wall and Nick, not sure how he felt, except the pain. What once was dull, was now a throbbing feeling that washed over his body in waves. Nick slowly pulled himself out of the scrawny male, allowing the mixture of blood and semen to slowly drip down Ellis's ass then leg. He looked at the mess he'd made before looking at Ellis who clawed at the wall slowly. "I'll... get something to clean up then." Nick muttered, a slow ting of guilt starting to build up in his stomach. Ellis grabbed his pants, moving slowly before pulling them up, not bothering to put on the tight fit boxers. "Don't worry 'bout it." Ellis whispered, his body shaking as he felt like he'd fall.

"I'm going to see if they have another room for me to stay in." He finally managed out, holding the wall to keep himself standing. He couldn't force himself to look at Nick, the floor was his good friend right now. Nick slowly reached up to touch his shoulder, "Look..." Ellis shrugged off the touch as he moved for the door wobbly, and barely able to move. "Don't touch me." He muttered, reaching the door. "Don't fucking talk to me." He grabbed the door handle, pulling the door open, and walking out.

When the door slammed shut, Nick felt his heart sink.

He'd done some pretty shitty stuff in his life, hell he'd said some pretty shitty things to the kid. This... This took the cake. Did he just rape a man? His head spun in his still slightly drunk thoughts. What had he truly just done? He pulled up his own pants once more, going for the door himself. "Ellis." He looked down the hall, watching the limping man walk. "Man just take the room." Ellis didn't stop. "Don't... Don't keep walking!" Nick moved after the other, he couldn't just let him go upstairs to the others who he could hear above them, yelling, laughing; enjoying their small moment in life.

"You'll hurt yourself worse." Nick grabbed Ellis's shoulder causing the other male to come to a dead stop. Ellis shook, Nick wasn't quite sure if it was from anger or if it was pain. "Just go back... Sleep... I'll get a different room." Ellis didn't look up, he didn't move. Mixed emotions filled his head and heart, the pain his body felt filled him far worse. "I don't want to be near that room Nick." Ellis whispered, trying to fix his pants. "I don't want to be near you man, I just want to be alone." He finally looked up, looking Nick dead in the eye as tears fell from his own. "Fuck you. Fuck everything that you are, and fuck everything that you've done."

Nick bit his lip as he stepped back, Ellis standing before him as he was, crying; was a stab to the chest. The man had taken everything with a joke and a smile, while now he stood before Nick; the man who broke his spirit. Ellis shook his head before turning and began his walk for the stairs once more, leaving Nick standing alone in the hallway, forced to face what he'd just done.

**End of Chapter 3**

_A.N. Sorry it took so long for the chapter to finish._

_I kept trying to finish the chapter only to go back and rewrite it because I didn't even think it sounded good for a L4D story. So, I hope this fits what everyone wants, and I promise to work faster for next chapter. To also start causing happy chapters to happen soon._


	4. Show me

Chapter 4

A.N. You guys ever get bored, or feel like telling to work faster.. or just feel like seeing some of my artwork, late night gaming, or just poking me. Find me on facebook at : CitizenKainesLiveDrawingAndG aming?ref=ts

I'd love to hear from you. 3

I'm sorry the last chapter upset a few of you, I promise it gets better... soon... ish.

Disclaimer: I do not own the people of L4D. I only own my own characters such as Ma and Pa. I only own the story that comes out of my head, and the plot I put said L4D characters through.

Chapter 4.

Show me.

The party raged on with the group of survivors. They all stayed oblivious to what had just happened with the two who had stayed behind, instead they had grown drunk in the night. It was something that most of them hadn't done in a year, if not more. An experience all of them enjoyed, until Ellis stepped into the room, filling the light heart-ed atmosphere with sudden sorrow. It was Rochelle who noticed him first and his disheveled state, his hair a mess, his clothing barely on his body; even in her drunk state she knew Nick and Ellis had a fight. "Oh Ellis dear." She said before moving over to the male, touching his arm lightly. "You okay honey?"

Ellis looked at her slowly before nodding, "Yeah Rochelle I'll be fine." He looked at Ma and Pa. "Hey Ma, you wouldn't happen to have a different room I could stay in do you?" He asked giving a crooked smile. "I don't think my room mate and I are getting along well right now." Ma looked up at Ellis talking to her, she gasped before getting to her feet and waddling over to Ellis. "Oh my oh my!" She said as she pulled a rag out of her cleavage, licking it before rubbing Ellis's cheek with it. "You poor dear. I knew when Nick asked if you two could stay together, I just knew sometin bad would happin." She continued to rub Ellis's cheek with the cloth, clearing away some of the stains from the tears against the dirt on his cheek. "Yeah. Bad." Ellis muttered as she continued to baby him. "Can I just have somewhere else to stay? I'd really like to go to sleep."

"Oh of course Dear." Ma patted his shoulder before giving Ellis what seemed like a rib cracking hug. "Let me go get you a room set up, and we'll take care of you." Coach watched what was happening beside Pa, both of the bigger males looked at each other before taking another drink of their drinks. "That Nick feller seems like trouble." Pa said after a moment to Coach who shook his head slowly. "I thought after a year those two would just get along. Nick has a horrible habit of picking on Ellis for just small crap." Pa shook his head as he sipped his drink. "Man don't seem ta get we're dying here." He said finally before finishing his drink and pouring another. Coach sighed as he leaned back in his chair looking at Rochelle. "We'll have a talk with him in the morning. It's about time that Nick learned we need to stick together, not try to kill each other. We have enough things trying to kill us right now."

Ellis watched the two males talk, his stomach turning as they spoke of what they thought Nick had done. If he spoke up now, he was sure they would have a different feeling on the matter. Rochelle on the other hand placed her hand on Ellis's cheek, turning his head so that he had to look at her. "What'd he do Ellis?" She asked softly, Ellis only noticed her hand was cold, the feeling of his whole body right now really. "I don't wanna talk about it Rochelle." Ellis muttered as she kept her eyes locked with his. "Why'd he hurt you?"

Ellis could only bite his tongue for so long. He took a deep breath before closing his eyes. "Because of you." He muttered putting his hand on her chest and pushing her back. "So just lay off alright?" Rochelle stood there stunned as Ma lead Ellis out of the dinning room and back towards the hallway, his arm over her shoulders as he limped.

Rochelle watched Ellis and Ma go, still stunned about his words. Because of her? What'd she do? She'd always tried to stand up for Ellis to Nick and now the kid was claiming she was the reason Nick had beat him? How was that exactly fair? Coach called her over to the table, she sat down next to him trying to calm down and join in the conversation once more.

Ellis continued to limp with Ma down the hall to the new room he'd be staying in. Ma helped the wounded man into the room and to the bed before she finally put her hands on her plump hips, looking at the scrawny man. "Now Ellis. I know I aint your mother, but they call me Ma because everyone thinks of me as that. Now you can talk to me 'bout anything kid." She reached over and set her hand on his shoulder. "Anything."

Ellis nodded before smiling weakly. "Ma, I just wanna go to bed." She nodded in understanding taking her hand back before heading out of the room, stopping at the door. "Sleep well kid, I'll see you in a couple hours." She then shut the door behind her, heading out.

Ellis laid down slowly on the bed, taking his time as the pain rushed through his body slowly. He wasn't sure what to do next, as he laid on the bed he thought of what had just happened, it caused him to shake lightly in pain. How could Nick just do that to him? He'd always known Nick hated him, but all of this had crossed a line. Tears rolled down his cheeks slowly, he'd never done anything to cause harm to the other, yet Nick had taken out all his anger on him. He didn't see how any of that was fair, especially in the situation they were all in.

He closed his eyes rolling on his side, hugging his pillow slowly as even more pain rushed over him as he moved. He needed to sleep, they'd be coming in to check on him in the morning. He closed his eyes tightly, slowly drifting to sleep.

The next morning the sun rose slowly. The sound of the groans and moans from outside were far worse then the day before. Most likely because of the gun fire they'd had, startling the once resting zombies who had believed everything was dead. Ellis awoke to Ma slowly shaking his shoulder. "Mornin sunshine." She said softly before placing clean clothing at the nightstand. "Yeah feelin better?" Ellis rubbed his eyes slowly, looking at Ma before looking at the clothing. "A bit." He whispered before sitting up slowly, pain still rushing through his hips and back. "Yeah don't have to talk about it." Ma said looking at him before stroking his hair slowly. "Just you feel better."

Ellis looked at her slowly before rubbing his face. "I just don't understand what happened." He whispered before grabbing the clean shirt and pulling it on. "I just... Don't get why he did it." Ma shook her head clicking her tongue before sitting next to Ellis once more. "Once in a while hunny, everyone makes stupid choices." Ellis nodded slowly at that, head in hand still. "I just... want to be alone." Ma nodded before hugging Ellis tightly. "Hunny you don't gotta tell me nothin." She spoke softly, fingers slowly sliding over his hair petting it slowly. "Just know I'm here for yeah sugar." Ellis nodded slowly in understanding as he watch Ma stand before leaving the room.

It hurt to move, it hurt worse to stand. He forced himself anyways as he slowly took off the soiled outfit from last night. It was an over done outfit in general, since it'd been a year since he finally had a change of outfit. He slid the blue jeans over his legs slowly before buttoning them. The door to his room opened once more, Ellis thought perhaps Ma had come back once more to speak to him, so he turned to the bed so he could finish putting on his clothing. It wasn't until their were arms around his shoulders before he realized it wasn't Ma in the room with him. "Nick?" He whispered, his body going ridged. There was a grumble from behind him before his body was pulled against the other males. "I'm sorry." It was a whisper, more of a mutter; one you would receive from a child who knew he was in trouble but didn't want to face it.

Ellis continued to stand frozen. He waited for the other part of the apology, the part where Nick would blame him for it, how he'd led him on and how he deserved it. When it didn't come Ellis started to realize there would never be more, just those two words were expected to make everything better, when it never would. "Fuck off." He finally mustered out, hands going up to pull off Nick's arms from around him. "Get the hell off me man. I don't even wanna see you!" The words had the effect Ellis wanted, if not more.

Nick let go, and stepped back, a shiver running through his body. "Look man... I know I fucked up." Ellis finally turned around to see the wreck of a man that was Nick. His hair was a disaster, his clothing half assed thrown on; buttons missing holes, and his shirt un tucked. His pants looked rushed, his zipper unzipped and belt undone. He looked like a man who instead of sleeping off his drunk state has stayed up, until the alcohol had finally worn off. Ellis looked his over before swallowing slowly, it made him feel like shit seeing Nick like this, but he knew he deserved it. "I told you to stop." He managed finally, unable to look Nick in the eye as much as he wanted to. He could feel his body shutting down on him, his knees giving in as he finally fell to the bed once more, sitting hard on his ass, causing a small grunt from the skinny male. "I know..." Nick whispered.

He moved closer to Ellis, sitting before him on his knees. "I know... I... Ellis man I couldn't stop." He whispered his hands going to Ellis's and holding them. "I'm so sorry, there's no way I could ever make this up to you." Ellis looked at Nick before swallowing hard. "Just go."

Nick watched Ellis before looking away. "Yeah." He stood slowly, hands on his knees to help himself up. "Yeah I'll do that." He nodded before heading for the door. There was nothing left to say as Nick walked out the door and headed down the hall, leaving Ellis to sit in his room alone wondering what to do now.

Nick made it to the main hall. The groans growing louder outside as he got closer to the front door. He could just walk out now, solve everyone's problems really if he did. Ellis wouldn't have to see him anymore, his fucking feelings for Rochelle would be gone, hell his cares would go with it as well. He rubbed his face with his hands slowly before pushing his hair back with them. He could just go, just like Ellis wanted, like everyone wanted. He moved closer to the door, placing his hand on the knob, the groans and scratches at the metal door so close, so loud. "_End it all then_?"

His fingers gripped the cold metal tightly, his thoughts racing as he gripped the knob in both fear, but determination. If he did this it'd be best for everyone, except himself. He stopped, fingers loosening their grip before his hand fell. What the hell was he doing? He gripped his forehead with his hand, rubbing his face slowly before backing up. Was he going insane? Kill himself because he fucked Ellis? Bullshit. The kid didn't get that _satisfaction_.

End Chapter 4

AN: Sorry it's so short guys. They get longer again next chapter I swear!


	5. Disaster in the City

Chapter Five

_A.N.: Sorry it took so long guys, going through a lot in my life right now. So this kinda got put on the back burner._

**Disclaimer: I do not own the people of L4D. I only own my own characters such as Ma and Pa. I only own the story that comes out of my head, and the plot I put said L4D characters through.**

**Chapter Five**

_Disaster in the City_

The sounds of a throat clearing came from behind Nick, who was still inches from the door. "Don't you dare pull that door open kid." Pa said, arms crossed as he chewed on his chew tobacco. "I aint gonna go save your ass again if you do." The statement caused Nick to laugh, "Fair enough old man." He looked back at Pa before stepping towards him. "Especially after what you done did to that Ellis feller." That stopped Nick in his tracks.

"What do you mean old man?"

Pa snorted before looking Nick over, "Your looks.. How he was acting last night after the whole thing. Everyone else thinks you just beat the crap out of him. I know better." Pa snorted again before spitting into a spitting tin he stood beside. "I was in prison for a good long time." He eyed Nick who began to look ashamed as he was stared down. "I aint stupid like people make me out to be."

Nick grunted before starting to walk past Pa. "I want you out of my home once them walkers are done being rattled up." Nick stopped beside Pa, looking at him. "I done want you out of here." Nick nodded slowly before walking down the hall towards the kitchen where the others were.

The dinning room was a silent tomb, everyone seemed to either have a hang over from the night before, or just not wish to speak of what had happened. Few looked up to see the con man walk in, even fewer cared that he was there. They stayed quiet focusing on their food and not the fact that the groans from outside could be heard almost as if they were in the room staring them down. Nick sat at his place beside Rochelle, looking at the sloppy mess of eggs and some sort of meat; to him, it was food. He dug in like the rest, ignoring that Rochelle had now realized he was there, and was giving him the look of death.

A few moments pasted and Pa came into the dining room with Ellis, who was still limping. Everyone's eyes moved to the skinny male watching as he walked, everyone but Nick, who stayed focused on his food. With Pa's help Ellis sat slowly into his chair before looking around. "Really guys, I'm good." Rochelle was the one who called bullshit, she stood and slammed her hands down on the table looking at Nick. "I am sick of you picking on him! You took it too far this time Nick!"

Ellis winced at the yelling, looking slowly at his plate before picking up his fork. "What'cha want me to say huh? Sorry? I already did that!" Nick looked up at Rochelle a look of disgust on his face. "Why don't you but the fuck out of it already?" Ma gasped covering Sam's ears, the young girl rolled her eyes pulling her mothers hands off her ears. "What happens between Ellis and I, happens between Ellis and I!" Nick stood now, ready to throw down with the women who only days ago he'd been fawning over. Now that he knew she had no single interest in him, he was ready to treat her like she wanted to be treated, one of the guys; or one of the walkers. Rochelle looked Nick dead in the eye, her chest puffing up as she huffed before sitting down once more. "It aint right." She muttered before looking at her plate. "Neither are you but we learn to fucking deal." Nick sat down once more leaning back in his chair a bit. He didn't want to be here, he didn't want to be facing people he didn't even want to be around.

Coach patted Rochelle on the shoulder slowly before continuing to eat his own food. Phil watched the group before whispering something to his sister who giggled looking at him. The two joked back and forth, whispering all the while so that no one else could hear them. Pa cleared his throat before standing. "As we all have noticed, yesterdays firing in the city has startled the undead. Because of that Ma wants me to let yall stay here one more day." Pa put his hands on his hips looking at the group. "Possibly longer, dependin on how it goes. If this be the case, we gotta get along, and yall gotta work." Phil giggled leaning back. "So that mean I don't have to do nearly as many choirs?" He asked which Pa gave a nod to, causing both of the children to clap their hands in delight.

Pa looked at the group. "Is it a deal then?" The nodded, anything to keep from having to sleep outside in the cold another night, or worrying on wither or not they'd wake up to the undead. This was a relief they could live with, and enjoy; well most of them could. Nick looked at his hands, feeling like a small child almost as he sat at the table. The regret of what he'd done sinking in slowly, he didn't know how to fix it, hell he didn't even know why he'd really done it. He slowly looked across the table at Ellis who was focused on his food. He had to get alone with Ellis again, he had to properly say sorry to him. The feeling of eyes on him caused a slight shiver down Nick's spine. He looked at Rochelle once more, she was staring at him, unblinking. He nearly snapped at her again but let it go, he ate his own food before leaving the table. "Ellis why don't you just go rest?" Ma asked patting the skinny boy on the shoulder. Nick winced hearing that, before clenching his fists watching Ellis walk past him slowly, not limping as bad as before.

No one seemed to mind that Nick had left, that didn't bother him a bit at this point. It meant he didn't have to do the fucking choirs, and it meant he could do as he pleased to. Alone. After all this time, getting to know the others, and trying to come to terms with what had been happening, in the end he really was and had been alone. Yeah his "friends" had been looking out for him at the start, but after they all learned what he had really been before the zombies, the looks they'd given him had changed. You'd think in an undead world that being a con man didn't matter, long as you had someones back. He had theirs, but they no longer had his. He walked down the hallway slowly, fingers sliding into his pocket to find his cigarettes. Fuck the world then, he was plenty capable of handling himself on his own in this world. He'd done it before he met up with them, and when they all were separated. He could do it again if he had to, all he had to do was try.

Nick shook his head, he had thought about going back to Ellis's room, to beg and plead for forgiveness; he realized now that, that plan was stupid. Everything he'd done until now was idiotic, and he'd been a fool. He'd fallen for a bitch, and fucked a guy who he hated. His footsteps echoed down the dark hall to his room. Moving to the bed he finally pulled out one of the cigarettes before pulling out his lighter. After a year of stress, cigarettes didn't seem like the worse thing that could kill him. The flame lit up a small part of the pitch black room, giving Nick a chance to see Ellis sitting on the bed, startling Nick enough he nearly dropped the lighter. He growled before relighting the thing, and then lighting his cigarette. "Can I fucking help you?"

His voice seemed hallow, he'd chosen not to go see Ellis yet here the kid was sitting on his fucking bed, coming to him. Ellis didn't lift his head up as Nick spoke, not even seeming to hear the tone of voice that had been directed at him. "Yeah." He muttered before scratching the back of his head. "I wanna know why." Fingers moved slowly through dark brown locks, pushing his hat off his head and into his out stretched hand. "Why me?" He looked up slowly to watch Nick stand there, smoking in a silhouette of light from the cherry of his cigarette. There was no answer to that question that Ellis would want to hear, but he needed to hear it. There was no nice way for Nick to answer, no simple explanation of 'you were the one I wanted all along', or 'my mean comments were meant to be playful banter'. Nick wouldn't lie again, Nick couldn't force himself to forgive himself, let alone ask Ellis to try once more. "I was drunk." He muttered, pulling the cigarette from his lips, lowering it slowly.

_"You were there."_

Ellis looked at the floor once more, staring at his hat as he turned it slowly by just the brim. "I was there." He muttered as he felt tear well up in his eyes. He could only think of how he'd become some pansy in front of Nick, and that was what led to all of this. How he showed he was weak so Nick could just take everything from him, and give nothing back. "I know... It sounds horrible." Nick whispered before taking another drag from his smoke before putting it out against the wall. He moved over to the bed and then sat down. "It was horrible. There's... there's not justification for what I did Ellis. You told me to stop, and instead I kept going... In my mind I heard the words but they didn't mean what you said..." Ellis played with his hat, before slowly slipping it onto his head once more, pulling the brim down to cover his eyes.

"I'm sorry." How many times would Nick say that? How many times would he be forced to repeat the words only to know they were falling on def ears. "I know."

The words hit Nick like a sack of bricks. He stopped, leaned back slightly, and then looked at Ellis slowly. Had that really just come from the scrawny kid sitting next to him? He watched the figure of the other male in the dark, watched as his shoulders shook from crying. His chest hurt as he watched, it felt like someone had gripped his heart and decided to give it a hard squeeze. Nick's hand twitched, before he slowly reached over and put a hand on Ellis's shoulder, hoping to not receive the same reaction from this morning. "I'm sorry Ellis. I... I really am..."

Ellis looked at Nick slowly, tears streaming down his cheeks. "I know... and... _I'll move past it man._" He whispered, barely loud enough for Nick to hear, yet the words rang so clear that again Nick felt that squeeze. He swallowed hard before grabbing Ellis and pulling the small male against his body. "Fuck man." He muttered as he held Ellis tight. The younger male wrapped his arms around Nick slowly, gripping at the back of his shirt.

_"Just don't leave me..."_


	6. Make me Reminisce

_Chapter 6_

_A.N. At this point I pretty much dedicate this story to 10 years music. Because it's been so inspiring to continue writing chapters in a sad matter. So blame 10 years early sad work for the sappy sad filler that is this chapter. _

**Disclaimer: I do not own the people of L4D. I only own my own characters such as Ma and Pa. I only own the story that comes out of my head, and the plot I put said L4D characters through.**

**Chapter 6**

_Make me Reminisce_

The breeze felt amazing on the hundred degree day. Ellis had already been outside for several hours, working a sweat as he put up the new fence around his grandpa's house. His best friend Keith worked beside him, holding the post as he waked it hard with the sledge hammer. They'd gotten to the last post finally, leaving only to put up the fence it's self. The day had seemed to go by so quickly, but they'd gotten so much done. It was always a good feeling to get something done for someone, honest hard work has always been something Ellis had enjoyed doing. Especially when it was with Keith, the only person in the world who made his stomach turn tabled and squirmed like it was full of butterflies flying around.

Keith had been his best friend for years. He was also Ellis's first crush, which was a huge surprise since he'd never felt feelings for another guy, let alone his best friend. He's yet to say anything to Keith though, hell why would he? The man was great with the ladies, no way in hell he'd go for a guy. Besides... wasn't that wrong? He'd think about it often, especially with how he was raised. Loving another man wasn't something you were supposed to do right?

A loud whack echoed from Ellis hitting the pole the final time, slamming the sledge hammer hard against the post. It also caused Ellis to jump out of his dazed state, Keith finally let go, falling back on his ass with a heavy sigh. "Hell man, 'bout time." Ellis laughed leaning the sledge hammer against the pole. "Man I would kill for some of your grand dads lemon-aid." Ellis grinned shrugging, "Good thing I got some waitin for us then huh?" That caused Keith's normal ear to ear grin. "Hell yeah man!" He climbed to his feet, slapping the pole as he did. "Hard work done, we should have some fun!"

Ellis grinned running with the other towards the house, feeling like a school kid as they ran. Missing the days in the past when they'd help his grandpa out because his grandma was sick, but she'd always have something cooking and waiting for them, from pie to cookies. His grandma loved him, and loved all the two of them did for her. He missed her horribly, and he was sure his grand dad did too. The man would often drink himself to sleep because of the loss, especially since she'd only been gone to cancer for a year now. They made it into the house, walking quietly through the living room since grandpa had fallen asleep at sometime. They went to the kitchen, grabbing the glasses off the counter. Both took long gulps before Ellis sighed softly. "You wanna go watch TV in the guest room?" Ellis asked before refilling his cup, Keith shrugged, " Better then going back outside man." Keith stated as he filled his glass up after the other. "Heck man it's gotta be like a hundred degrees out." Ellis gave a nod, before heading down the hall, sneaking past the knocked out drunk in his chair.

Keith and Ellis went to the back room, shutting the door behind them. "Man I'm glad to be done with the hard part." Keith stated, sitting on the bed after setting his glass on the table. Ellis went over to the television turning it on to the sports channel. "Not looking forward to the next step, those boards ain't gonna be fun." He went to the bed sitting down next to Keith, his glass in his hands. Keith gave a loud groan as he leaned back on his elbows, thinking of the hard work ahead of them. "Man, your grand dad's lucky I like him." Ellis laughed and grinned laying back on the bed. "He's awesome man." Keith nodded in agreement as he watched the television slowly sinking into the bed. It was a calm time, relaxing really. The sound of the cheers from the television filling the room, the heat gone and replaced with the relaxing cooling waves from the air conditioning. It was simple times, times that Ellis loved.

"Hey Ellis." Keith muttered, looking down at his friend beside him. "Yeah Keith?" Ellis opened an eye to look back. "You ever wanna do something stupid, but year scared what would happen?" Ellis shrugged, thinking back on all the stupid shit they'd done. "Yeah man but we do stupid stuff al the time. What you scared of?" Keith shrugged, "I 'unno man. Just like... what could happen an shit." Ellis grinned knowing his friend too well on dares, and stupid things they'd done because of them. "I dare you." Keith sat up a bit, look at Ellis as if he'd just said the worst thing. "What?"

"I dare you. Do it. What ever it is man, _do it._"

"I dunno man." Keith muttered thinking about it a bit before bitting his lip. "What's the worse that could happen? Like, we've done it all!" Keith watched Ellis for only a moment longer before he was on top of him. Ellis gave a small yelp, his glass of lemon-aid falling from his hands and to the floor. Keith pinned Ellis's shoulders down to the bed, leaning down and kissing him. Which needless to say, shocked Ellis. He squirmed slightly before stopping, letting the feeling of his crush finally doing what he'd wanted for so long, wash over him. Keith slowly let go of Ellis's shoulders, realizing there wasn't a resistance that he had thought there would be. The two continued to kiss, slowly becoming less timid in it. Ellis slowly relaxed, his body moving to the warmth of the body pressing against his own, his hands moving to touch the skin he'd long to feel in a more intimate matter. Keith's skin was rough like he'd expected, especially from the sun burns from working in the sun all day. Though both of the men worked at the auto shop in town, it was rare to get out of the sun, and it made the both of them rougher to the touch. Ellis didn't mind, hell, he enjoyed the feeling over everything else.

All good things had to come to an end however, if only for a moment. Keith broke the kiss leaning back a bit to look at his friend. No words were spoken, there didn't seem to be the need for them. It seemed that what both had been dreading an outcome of, was what they had both wanted. Keith got up off Ellis, looking down at him for only a moment longer before pulling off his own shirt. Ellis sat up watching Keith, seeming dumb founded for the longest of time before finally understanding what was happening, he pulled his own shirt off causing Keith to give a chuckle at how Ellis had reacted. Ellis gave his own ear to ear grin looking at his half nude friend, before reaching out and touching his chest slowly. Both boys had been raised the same, working hard all their lives, and causing both of them to be fairly toned, which was something Ellis liked the most about Keith. To look at his well earned muscles, and to finally touch them, it sent shivers through his body slowly. Causing a feeling Ellis didn't get often to move through his body, but he knew exactly what it was.

This time, he wouldn't have to hold back on it. Keith looked down at him before leaning down and kissing him again, this time however Ellis wasn't just going to lay back and take it. He wrapped an arm around him, before pulling him down onto the bed, pushing Keith onto his back as he climbed on top of him. The kiss became deeper, tongues pressing against each other, wrestling for dominance in Keith's mouth. Body's starting to move against each other, hips grinding as they slowly worked into that desperate need.

It was then that the door to the room swung open. Causing both boys to jump to their feet, ready to run as they always were. Grandpa stood there drunk out of his mind, and blubbering on about something and cows. Ellis held his face before he walked over to his grand dad, "Come on Gramps you gotta go lay down." He looked back at Keith before looking at his grand father again. "Bed will be good for ya." Ellis's grandfather muttered something while waving his hand, as he was led to his bedroom. "You gotta ruin all my fun grandpa." Ellis muttered as he put his grand dad to bed. "Just sleep already." His grandfather looked up at him before taking his hand. "You're a good kid." Was all Ellis managed to understand out of the mess that his grandfather had babbled out. The sentence wasn't completely formed that way, but he understood what he was trying to say. Ellis smiled before patting his grandfather on the head, heading back out of the room and shutting the door behind him.

"How's he doin?" Keith asked as he walked down the hallway towards Ellis. "Put him to bed?" Ellis nodded, noticing that Keith had his shirt on again. "You leavin then man?" Keith nodded rubbing the back of his head a bit before shrugging. "Ma called wonderin when I'd be home for food. So I'll have to catch you later." Ellis nodded slowly, knowing when Keith was lying to him. "Yeah man, it's cool. Gotta go home anyways." Keith nodded before heading for the front door. "See yeah later Ellis!" He waved behind him in Ellis's general direction before leaving. Leaving Ellis to stand alone in the hallway, wondering what had just happened, and if he'd just lost his best friend.

It was the sound of the walkers that woke Ellis up, they were surprisingly loud in the basement compared to upstairs; which most likely had to do with the gate being close to where Nick's room was to the fence. At some point Ellis had fallen asleep in Nick's arms, feeling safe even though he still felt very hurt and betrayed by the male. It was a comfortable place, which reminded him of security. Ellis slowly looked up at Nick's face, only to see the male looking off at the ceiling. "Hey..." Ellis muttered before attempting to slowly pull himself away from the other, only to be pulled back against Nick's chest again. "Just... just a minute." Nick muttered as he held Ellis against him again. Ellis tensed up at first, before slowly sinking against Nick. "Alright." Nick said barely above a mutter, letting go of Ellis so that the other male could get up.

"I heard the family upstairs call for you a couple times, you might wanna make sure that they don't think I killed you." Nick muttered before fixing his own hair. Ellis looked at Nick before looking at the door. "I guess they're worried." Ellis said before going to stand, everything still hurt, but it'd gone down to a dull pain. Nick looked over to watch Ellis stand, and make sure he was going to be okay. "So... Ellis." Ellis looked at Nick as he fixed his pants. "Keith really meant a lot to you then?"

Ellis bit his lip before grinning as he looked away. "Yeah man, he was the best of best friends you could ever ask for. Heck I remember this one time when Keith and I were foolin around on Old man Jinkin's Farm-" Nick held up a hand cutting him off. "I don't want a story man." Ellis shrugged looking back at Nick. "Suit yourself man, but Keith learned chickens didn't like him."

Nick shook his head as he stood up slowly as well. "You talk a lot in your sleep man. You should watch what you say." Ellis blinked a couple times before looking down at the floor. "I didn't say nothing." He muttered before shaking his head. "You're a liar." He rubbed his finger under his nose for a moment before heading for the door. "Ellis." Nick attempted to reach for him, and stop him but it was too late. "Besides, why the fuck do you care if I talk about him in my sleep?" Ellis said moving away from Nick further, grabbing the door and pulling it open. "Like you give a fuck what even happens to me anymore? Now that you got what you wanted." Nick held his breath for a second, giving an obvious pained look to his comment. "I said I was sorry Ellis... Fuck man you said you forgave me."

Ellis looked at his hand on the door handle, " Just lay off man... I aint talkin about Rochelle in front of yeah... why would you bring up my issues..."

"I'm just worried man." Nick stated, stepping closer to Ellis. "Just... what you were saying in your sleep... Why did you keep saying sorry?" Ellis looked at Nick before sighing slowly, his hand going to his chest and grabbing the shirt in front of his heart. "I killed him." That took Nick aback a bit, he shook his head before stepping closer again. "What?"

"He was a zombie man!" Ellis looked at Nick as tears began to stream down his face with out Ellis noticing. "Fucking killed his own sister, then went for me! Didn't recognize me or shit!" Nick watched the other, realizing what pain it must have been to kill your own best friend. Ellis gripped his shirt tighter, before finally letting it go. "I just...He just was supposed to be the one fightin with me now... instead he was the first one I killed...We always joked how we'd make it in shit like this, cuz we knew what ta do watchin all those zombie movies and junk, yet... I still killed him." He wiped his face clear of tears before shaking his head. "That's why I'm sorry aight?"

Nick nodded before grabbing Ellis by his shoulder, and pulling the scrawny male against his body. He wrapped his arms around him tightly and giving a soft squeeze. "I'm sorry kid." Nick held Ellis tight, realizing what everything had really done to this kid, and yet he'd stayed cheerful through all of it. Ellis had gone through so much, just like all of them, and Nick had only made it worse. The twinge of just running out into the walkers was coming back to him again, until Ellis wrapped his arms around Nick in return. "We've... all done things we shouldn't have done." Ellis whispered against Nick's chest. Nick rested his head against Ellis's before kissing him, ruffling his hair slowly. The two stood in silence, only the sounds of the zombies outside moaning filled the air. It was then Ellis turned his head up and kissed Nick, softly, unafraid of what the consequences would be.

End of Chapter 6

**_A.N. So Again, sorry for the sappy shit that is this chapter. I've just really wanted to write it, and I can swear that it will make a diffrence later on. I also swear next chapter will be worse. So... yup._**  
**_Anyways, please review and stuff (Ugh I've turned into one of those authors) they do help me push through the next chapter to get them out faster for you. _**  
**_A huge thanks to my Beta reader Rhia and to "Your Failing Epicness" for the amazing review which pretty much pushed me to finish this chapter in the short time that I did. 3_**

**_A shout out to:_**

**_Your Failing Epicness_**

**_DomoFan19_**

**_Kira1525_**

**_DarknessFiction_**

**_Caerix_**

**_Puppylove_**

**_ToraChan_**

**_For the lovely reviews so far. Thank you to everyone who is reading, subscribing, and favoriting the story. You make it possible for me to push through and continue on. Even if my personal life is being a jerk. _**

**_3_**


	7. Plans

Chapter 7

A.N. Having some free time at night, is making chapters a bit easier to write. YAY.

**Disclaimer: I do not own the people of L4D. I only own my own characters such as Ma and Pa. I only own the story that comes out of my head, and the plot I put said L4D characters through.**

Chapter 7

_Plans_

Phil was turning sixteen in only a few days, next week to be exact. For his sixteenth birthday he decided to prove his worth to his dad. Phil had always wanted to prove himself to his father, especially now that walkers had taken over the world. He wanted to prove to his father that he could take care of his sister if something were to happen. He wanted to show that he could make his father proud of everything he was. That's why he'd come up with the plan to get rid of Nick. He knew how much his father hated the slick bastard in a suit, and he'd decided to take it upon himself to get rid of him. Really the plan was simple, he'd ask Nick to come help him get rid of the walkers that had gotten into the garden through a hole in the fence. If Nick declined, he'd remind him that they wouldn't be there if it wasn't for his group causing such a mess the couple days before. From there he would lead Nick to the garden where the walkers he'd let in were, and then feed him to the walkers. It would make Pa proud, and he'd show that he knew how to deal with bad men. Phil was excited of his plan, and proud of how hard he'd thought on this. He knew how he'd escape, and make it look like Nick finally did what he was going to try and do only that morning, kill himself to walkers. Now it was time to put the plan into action.

Ellis could feel Nick's arms slowly wrap around his body, feeling the warmth of the others body wash over him. The almost innocent like kiss ended with both men watching each other in silence once more. It was like the night before, clashing emotions causing an off balance with the both. Nick couldn't tell if what he was feeling was just lust, or lust for a warm body against his own at night. One that cared for his, if only for a mutual feeling of wanting to hold another as well. Why his body had decided to pick the one person he didn't like, hell he had been on the verge of hating, he wasn't sure. Why his mind made him act the way he was, was also a mystery. All he knew was he regretted hurting the kid like he had, and now he wanted to make up for it.

Ellis watched Nick in stillness, thoughts racing through his head. Worried what was to come, and how he should be acting; he just didn't want Nick to do anything stupid. Pa already told him how Nick had caught trying to go outside, which wasn't what Ellis wanted. He just wanted Nick to treat him as a friend, or even an equal. Last night was the past or at least Ellis felt like it should be. That he should move forward, put the best foot first... something to keep the team together. Besides, it was obvious Nick knew what he'd done was wrong, so who was Ellis not to forgive him?

The two stood in silence, watching each other before Nick leaned in and kissed Ellis's forehead, one hand moving to play with the hair on the back of his head. "You look better without your hat." Nick muttered as Ellis blinked a couple times before closing his eyes. "Nah, normally people tell me to put it back on." Nick chuckled before he leaned back a bit. "I think you should keep it off more often."

Ellis looked at Nick, a slight tinge of red going to his cheeks. "Well uh.. thanks man." Nick smirked watching the red on Ellis slowly grow brighter. "What wrong Ellis?" He teased, fingers tightening in his hair. "Never been complimented before?" Ellis gulped feeling Nick pull his head back, continuing to watch the red spread on Ellis's fair skin. "W-what? N-no man that's …. What?" Nick felt like laughing, watching the effect he really had on the younger male just made everything worth it. Ellis closed his eyes biting his lower lip as Nick pulled his hair a bit harder, causing Ellis to bite harder. "I guess it was too dark for me to see how red you really get when you blush." Nick muttered watching Ellis still. Ellis shuddered shaking his head a bit, "Man lay off, I d-do not!" He squirmed slightly, trying to pull himself free. Nick used his free arm to pull Ellis against his body, he was getting close to losing it on the kid again. "Oh so it's just for me then?" Ellis opened his eyes a crack, looking at Nick the best he could. "Nick..."

He couldn't help it, he wanted to be able to stop himself but he just couldn't. Nick blamed the defenseless look Ellis gave him, the defeated and needy face, it made his head just swim in thoughts of things he could do. Things he shouldn't be thinking of doing, things he couldn't stop. Nick moved to act on those thoughts, Ellis closed his eyes tight, but the door slammed open before Nick could do anything. Phil walked in with his sister Sam who was sucking on a sucker, her long hair down instead of its normal up. "Nick Pa told me ta tell yeah to help clean out the garden with me. Ya'll rukus caused walkers ta get in." Nick let go of Ellis immediately, sighing softly in disbelief. "Seriously?" Phil nodded, so did Sam who made a loud crunching noise as she chewed on her sucker. Ellis watched the kids before going over and picking up the younger girl, who squeeled happily, even if ellis winced in pain for a moment. "I'll come with yall, it'll make it go by faster." This made Phil shake his head quickly in a no. "No Pa wants yeah somewhere else Ellis, Sam can take you there."

Ellis however shook his head, still worried Nick might just go run and hug one of the undead. "No Phil, I'll work on repairing the gate or what ever broke once we're done killin the dead." Phil watched Ellis and Nick walk out, swallowing slowly as he did. How was his plan to work now? He followed after slowly, before it dawned on him. If he startled a horde, and shot Nick in the middle of it, he could claim it was an accident, or even tell Pa the truth; either way he'd be proud, he just knew it. He raced after Nick and Ellis, smiling to himself and thinking how wonderful of a plan he'd come up with. Nick deserved it anyways, it was obvious he was about to hurt Ellis again when they'd walked in. A real man wouldn't hurt an already injured person, twice, in the same day. Nick had to be a heartless monster. He deserved what was going to happen, no matter what it was.

When they got to the back door to unbolt it, the group could see it was only a few walkers. "Now remember guys, no guns. It'll cause more to come." Nick patted Sam's head as Ellis set her down. "yeah no guns." Sam said waving a finger before running off, not wanting to watch. Phil nodded before opening the door up and letting the other two go first, axes at the ready. The walkers moved slowly through the garden at first, unnoticed of the group of people wielding axes approaching them. As they moved slowly foreword, there was a loud crash, as if someone had just hit a frying pan against something; which Phil had indeed done. He's used the metal skillet against the grill next to him on the deck. He looked at Nick and Ellis like it was an accident, while both men looked back at him as if he'd just grown two heads. They looked back to the undead, who snapped their heads up looking directly at them.

"Fuck." Nick muttered before running foreword and hacking off the head to one as it got closer. Ellis ran up beside him,, hacking away at the undead, and helping fight off more who where climbing over the fence. It was then that the door to the house burst open again, "What the heck?" Pa yelled seeing the horde of undead getting into his back yard. "Grab the guns Ma!" Phil's plan was working, he was handed a gun as well as his sister. The two began to shoot at the horde, attempting to get rid of them all and not startle a tank on them. Phil grabbed his sister pulling her behind one of the gates, so she would be out of the way. Phil looked back to see if Pa had come back, now was his chance. He took a steady aim at the duo hacking away at the undead. He watched down the scope, steadying his hand, then quickly pulled the trigger.

Nick hacked off an arm, before moving to hack the undead s head. Just as he swung, he felt a stabbing pain in his right shoulder. His whole arm felt numb, and the ax dropped, "W-what?" He looked at his arm slowly, then the ax, before dropping to his knees. "NICK!" Ellis yelled trying to get over to his friend. "Get UP man!" Nick shuddered in pain as he gripped the ax handle, and attempted to stand up once more. "NICK!" this time it was Sam, she dropped her gun and ran for him. She was fast, dodging each walker who tried to make a grab at her. "Sam NO!" Phil yelled, trying to snipe off each walker who tried to grab at his sister. Sam got to Nick, grabbing the ax he could barely hold in his good arm due to shock, and slamming it into the gut of an undead who was trying to grab him. "No. You. Don't!" She yelled as the walker fell, slamming it into it's head. Ellis joined her side, swinging his ax as fast as he could, trying to take out as many undead as he could. "Ellis, Sam, get down!" Coach yelled as he and Rochelle came out, carrying their assault rifles outside. Ellis grabbed Nick, and fell to the ground, Sam quickly following down. The rat-a-tat of the guns firing filled their air, undead dropping like flies around the three.

It was only a matter of minutes before the backyard was cleared. "Get him inside, Phil and Sam, fix that fence!" Pa yelled, Phil dropped his gun and ran to his sister. Ellis helped Nick slowly to his feet, noticing the large amount of blood soaked into the white shirt. "What happened?" he whispered looking at Sam and Phil before looking at Nick again, supporting the other as they walked. Making their way slowly back to the house. "We'll get you help man..."

**End of chapter 7**

**A.N. **Sorry it took so long. Laptop died for a while, but now I've got her back up and running.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Next chapter will hopefully be longer and faster. Fingers crossed.

If you want to poke me and motivate me to write faster, please just private message me, or find me on my fan page at

/CitizenKainesLiveDrawingAndGaming THX


	8. Loss

**Chapter 8**

A.N. Sorry things are taking forever. It's been busy in my life.

**Disclaimer: I do not own the people of L4D. I only own my own characters such as Ma and Pa. I only own the story that comes out of my head, and the plot I put said L4D characters through.**

Chapter 8

_Loss_

It was the pain that awoke Nick. The feeling of having the inability to do anything about it, made it worse. He clutched his chest, feeling the bandaged area close to his shoulder as he did. "Fuck." He muttered laying back on the bed, pain washing over him. He rolled his head to the side, seeing Ellis at the edge of the bed, fast asleep on his arms; god damn what a damned cliche. Nick thumped him on the head to wake him up not caring if he hurt the kid in the process. "Ellis man I'm alive, I swear." Ellis shook his head from the bump, waking up groggy. "Wha?" He blinked a few times before looking at Nick once his eyes were fully working. "Hey man." Nick gave a short wave with his good hand, before laying back again. "How long was I out?" Nick asked, scratching his chest tenderly. Ellis looked at the watch on the counter before shrugging. "Only a couple hours, then yeah woke up yellin so Pa gave ya meds knocking you out for another day." Nick groaned, "Doesn't have any more of them does he?" Ellis gave a laugh, "Ma was a nurse, so they got access to tha hospital, man they got all kinds of pain meds upstairs." Ellis grabbed the pill bottle from beside the bed and popped it open. He handed Nick two of the morphine pills, then the small cup of water with it.

Nick winced, but was able to take the pills with the water. Ellis watched Nick before taking the cup back. "Pa figures one of the kids accidentally shot you while trying to get one of the zombies." Nick coughed shaking his head. "Well yeah. Don't think they did it on purpose." Ellis chuckled nodding as he watched the other, "Yeah man the kids love you, I don't know why they'd wanna hurt you." He stopped speaking, looking deep in thought as he looked at his arms instead of at Nick now. "I was... worried about you." Nick looked at the other before slowly patting the bed beside him, "Come here." The words were muttered softly, as he moved his hand away from the spot. Ellis looked up thinking it over for a moment, thinking of the ways it could go, before climbing up onto the bed beside Nick. He pushed up against him before carefully wrapping his arm around him. "Stop getting hurt man. " Nick gave a small chuckle to the statement as he moved his hand to Ellis's hair, ruffling it slowly. "I'll try to stop but I can't make any promises."

Ellis sighed softly, before nuzzling the other slowly. "I guess that's all I can ask." He muttered his eyes closed as Nick stroked his hair slowly. "Yeah. It's pretty much anyone can ask at this point." Nick closed his eyes as he rested. "Nick?" There was a soft grunt to answer the question, it seemed Nick was getting ready to fall asleep again. "I was worried we'd lost you." Ellis muttered, playing with the bed sheets a bit. "I-I was worried... worried that I'd lost you." Nick's eyes opened slowly, he looked down at Ellis his hand stopped petting his hair. "Don't say things like that... It's stupid." Nick grunted taking a deep breath. "You'll get me thinkin you have feelings for me and shit. And I know that's bull."

Ellis looked off at the wall before slowly looking up at Nick. "It's not bull." He moved so he could look Nick better in the face and get an eye to eye look. "Nick... It's stupid yeah, I mean all the crap you put me through, and all the things you've done... But I do care about you. Your my friend man." Nick watched Ellis, thoughts racing through his head. Ellis had gotten so good at fucking with his head, and Nick still wasn't sure how he felt about it. Well hell maybe it was the drugs at this point but he couldn't stop. Morphine had that effect, it put you in a state of mind that was like a daze, no pain, just numb and floating on air. He leaned down a bit and kissed the younger male forcefully. He kissed him hard, and enjoyed it, every fucking second of it.

Ellis was taken aback, letting out a startled squeak through the force of the lips against his own. At first he gave a soft moan to the kiss. Then however his thoughts raced from a startled start, to slowly dragging through the worry of Nick's wound. He didn't want to think of what could happen next, he was more worried of trying to make the man who was currently kissing him, stop. If only because he didn't want the man to hurt himself even more, if that wound opened he could get infected or hurt even worse. Ellis tried to pull back, trying to get Nick to stop as badly as he didn't want him to. Nick barely took the hint, hell he knew it was there by the way Ellis moved against him, but he didn't want to take the hint. How badly he wanted the man against him scared him, and what made it worse was the fuzzy haze that was the morphine, that made him want him more. It made him want to forget everything else and everyone else, except for Ellis. He realized however, he was acting like a few days before, and that's what made him stop. He pulled away from Ellis breathing slightly heavy, and a different pain in his chest besides the one caused by the bullet to his shoulder.

Ellis watched Nick, slowly licking his lower lip as he did so. Nick swallowed before laying back, looking away from the other. "Just get out for a while Ellis." He muttered as he pulled the blankets at his hips a bit. "I need to be alone." Nick expected Ellis to listen, and just go which is what Nick thought Ellis wanted. When Ellis didn't go, let alone move Nick started feeling like he was even more confused. He didn't want to look at Ellis, scared that the kid was crying, or upset again. Then he felt the heat leave from beside him, and then the weight on his bed shift Ellis was finally listening to him, the one time he didn't want him to. "Damn it." Nick muttered before reaching over for Ellis's hand which he hoped was still there, when he didn't feel it, it felt like his heart had fallen though his chest and to the ground. He looked over to his hand then up, and saw Ellis sitting on his knees on the edge of the bed watching him. "I'm not leaving."

Nick bit his bottom lip unnoticeable to the other, those words had never meant so much to him. "I am not leaving you Nick." Ellis muttered before putting his hands on the bed and leaning over to the other. "Even if you kick me out, I'll sit by the door. And I will stay by your side until I know you'll be alright." Each word that Ellis spoke made it harder and harder for Nick to swallow. There was a giant lump in his throat that he just couldn't get down, and then finally "Nick I care about you man. I told you that." Those words. Those same words that he'd only mentioned a few minutes and sent Nick's head into the fog he was still trying to pull it out of. Then Ellis moved closer and kissed him, it was tentative and shy, as if Ellis was still scared to even touch the man. Nick moved his hand up to Ellis's cheek, his fingers slowly tracing along his skin, feeling every bump on his skin up till his ear then the back of his neck. Ellis could feel the blush on his cheeks growing from the feeling of the other touching him gently instead of the rough way he'd gotten so used to.

Nick broke the kiss after a moment, grabbing Ellis's shoulder as he rested his forehead against the others. "You drive me crazy kid." Nick muttered as he rubbed his shoulder slowly, before moving his other hand tentatively due to the slight pain to Ellis's hip. Ellis shook his head before climbing over to the other and on top of him. "I don't mean to." He muttered as he looked down at the other, still scared he'd cause him pain by even being on top of him like this. "I'm sure you really do." Nick muttered as his hand slid over the rough fabric that was Ellis's shirt, before sliding under it. He felt the scars from the cuts, or the scrapes they'd experienced over the struggle to survive, and from how Ellis told it, all the times the kid had gotten hurt with Keith. It seemed his gentle touches got more of a reaction then his rough touches from the days before. Ellis gave a slight shiver, his body reacting to the different feelings that Nick was putting him though. He couldn't really figure it out anymore, that hurt feeling that he had from everything that happened, to the horrible longing he had for the man under him; nothing made sense any more.

Ellis didn't want to admit how much he was still longing for this. He didn't want to admit to himself, or others that he was starting to enjoy it, that would make it wrong. It would make it very wrong, However the way that Nick was touching him made him wonder if Nick even cared that it was wrong, after the time they'd spent together Ellis even wondered what Nick counted as wrong anymore.

The touching continued, the wanting to feel every inch of the man above him washed over him in longing waves. It was a mixture of both the medication and the lust from before coming over him. He wanted to do so much more, feel so much more. He sat up a bit, pushing Ellis back a bit so that he could sit up better. They sat eye to eye, staring each other down from a brief moment before Nick moved close and lightly placed his lips against the younger males. He pressed firmer as his good arm slowly wrapped around the smaller males body, pulling him closer to his own. Ellis placed his own arms around Nick's shoulders one of his hands going to play with Nick's hair, before lacing the locks between each finger.

However, the problem of Nick's shoulder started to show. Now with the pressure of Ellis's arm against it, and his body against Nick's, caused a pain to shoot through Nick's body that caused him to jump. Ellis gave a small eep and quickly removed his arms from Nick's body and leaned back. Nick gave a grimace as he grasped his shoulder in pain for a moment. " Fuck man I'm so sorry!" Ellis whined feeling horrible for even touching the other man. "I didn't-"

"Ellis it's _fine_." Nick muttered grasping his shoulder still. "I should have known it would happen." He sighed heavily as he rubbed his shoulder gently as the pain started to dull again. "I expected it, just not as soon." He gave a small smile as he looked at Ellis, moving his hand down to Ellis's hip again. "I'm going to take this as my bodies way of stating I need to rest and not open my wound again." Ellis nodded slowly before climbing off of Nick and sitting beside him once more, "I want you to stay though." Nick muttered grabbing Ellis's hand before he could climb any further. "Here... Just lay with me and rest." Ellis looked at Nick's hand before looking at his face, then smiled. "I can do that... I can diffidently do that."

**END OF CHAPTER 8**

_A.N. I'd like to state I'm sorry about how long this took. Due to recent issues and complications with my heart I haven't had the time/ energy to even think outside of work, let alone try to come up with a porn (I'm typing this during class because I've taken it once already in Highschool) _

_However with things hopefully getting better soon, I'll try and pump out chapters faster._

_Thank you for your continuing encouragement to keep posting chapters._

_I love you all._

_I promise in the next couple chapters you'll finally get smut again, only happy smut not that rape smut. _

_LOVE YOU GUYSSSSSS _

_NEXT CHAPTER SOMEONE WILL BE DYING JUST A HEADS UP_


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